The Gold Guys Present: The Final Chapter: Speedo vs Mustache Duel in the Pool

Speedo vs Mustache Duel in the Pool Brought to you by The Gold Guys

Steven “Steve” Stenzel and I will finish our furious feud this Thursday morning. That’s right, the duel in the pool is Thursday. It will be broadcast live on ESPN the Ocho, I think. Or tpt MN. Or something. Or possibly just on the internet after the fact. The race will silence Steve’s awkward attempts at trash talk. Based on his writing I wonder if English is even Steve’s first language.

Once we wrap this up I am excited for a little peace and quiet on Twitter. Recently I have been brutally victimized by Steve’s online bully brigade. Their comments are as hateful as they are hurtful. I don’t know where Steve recruited his hit squad but I think they may be professional twitter bullies. Odd fact, most of them are female and less than five feet tall. I won’t sink to their level by calling names. If I were to stoop that low I would definitely call them a harem of hateful hobbits or a pack of petit predators or a big bunch of bitter little bullies or something mean of that nature. But I’m above all that. If they continue their mean ways I will be forced to start a special “NO H8 4 PRO ATHLETES” campaign. One of their burns was so deep I had to go to the hospital for treatment, in the wambulance! And I have never even said anything mean about little Steven! All I have done is clearly state my feelings about Steven and made truthful statements about his stature and athletic ability. Look for updates later in the week. If you want to get in on the trash talk you better hurry!

Teddy News

In other news, Teddy is learning all about winter in Minnesota. He is getting to know snow and cold and ice. Teddy is great at making ‘Lemon flavored Hawaiian Ice’. I’d encourage Steven to come over and try some.



It is week 3 of training for the 2014 season. Runs and bikes are all totally unremarkable so far. Week 1 I was able to squeeze in 3 outdoor rides, one each of 1, 2 and 3 hours. Since then winter has arrived so I’m back on my QR CD0.1 in the office:


Being a pro triathlete is not always as glamorous as you’d imagine. I’m on Netflix, YouTube and Pandora like everyone else this time of year. Side note on the D grade action movies that Netflix has streaming online: why do they always include bits of heartwarming stuff? It is awful and totally a waste of time. Cut it out, Hollywood.

I don’t have any power numbers so far because I am losing an ongoing game of hide and seek with my Powertap head. If you find it please let me know.

In the pool I’ve had three good practices so far and several not so good. As always I do my best work when battling my lanemates at Hopkins masters. Any given practice can turn into a full blown meet type situation with Brian and I.

Have a fine week and look for updates Thursday! Next week a full breakdown of the race. Also next week last minute Gear West Bike gift ideas. Spoiler alert: QR CD0.1 is still the coolest thing to put under the tree.

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One Response to The Gold Guys Present: The Final Chapter: Speedo vs Mustache Duel in the Pool

  1. Chris says:

    Teddy is adorable

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