Gold Guys Netflix Streaming Movie Reviews: THE JASON STATHAM SPECIAL EDITION

Many Jason Statham movies end up on Netflix streaming. This is probably a reflection of the quality of movies he appears in. I still love him. None of his biggest movies, like the Transporter franchise, are available on streaming. Recently he’s had a new one on streaming every few months. There are currently ten Jason Statham movies available on streaming, though one is a documentary he narrated about race cars which I have not watched.

They really seem to have his character dialed in recently and the formula is pretty set. He’s a washed up badass then something happens to someone he cares about then he goes on a magnificent and exuberantly violent rampage. Nothing could be better in a trainer movie than a robust revenge rampage. As with training, once you know the best formula just stick to it with only small changes. Jason is perfect for his role and I treasure his work. That said, some of it is obviously rubbish.

You will be sad to learn several great Jason Statham movies have already come and gone from Netflix streaming. You’ve missed Snatch, Revolver, The Expendables, Killer Elite, Crank and Crank: High Voltage. All of those titles were great for trainer viewing. Pro tip: You never know how long titles will be available on streaming so you have to watch the good ones right away.

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Our list today will go from worst to best: 

In the Name of the King: I think the idea of this one was to ride the popularity of the Lord of the Rings movies. Seems like a knockoff of the Lord of the Rings and is terrible. Jason kills some orcs but it’s hard to get into him beating up poorly done CGI bad guys. Ray Liotta plays a wizard. Yeah. They cast the guy from Goodfellas as a wizard. D

Parker: While Jason is his usual self in this and he does hurt some people, it is hard to get over J Lo being in the movie. D

The One: While this movie does have Jet Li and Jason Statham, which should guarantee it’s greatness, it is not very good. It is shocking how bad the special effects from ten years ago look now. Did not bother to finish this one. If a movie is too stupid it is not useful for trainer riding. C 

Blitz: Jason as a hard drinking, hard hitting cop. Sadly there is too much detective stuff and not nearly enough fighting, so it might be a little slow for trainer viewing. B-

Expendables 2: Lots of action stars get together and resolve conflict with violence. This violent conflict resolution goes on pretty much the whole time. B+

The Italian Job: This is one of those rare legitimate movies that slips through onto streaming. A little light on the actual action for trainer viewing. B+

Redemption: All the elements of a classic Statham film, washed up badass, violence, revenge, etc. Spends a little too much time romancing a nun, who spoiler alert is attractive as soon as she dresses normal. His hair at the beginning of the movie is a real treat. A

Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels: British crime movie, fair amount of violence and some jokes. Early Statham and he is not his usual character in this one. A

Safe: Best execution of the Statham formula with the ideal balance of talking to fighting – in that it is mostly fighting. A true gem. Jason puts the hurt on many, many bad guys – spoiler alert some of them are Russian which is always a bonus! A+

If you take issue with any of my reviews, please remember I am a professional triathlete so my opinion is probably more correct than yours. 

A special thanks to Jason for all his great work. Jason, I’m available if you need a wise-cracking triathlete sidekick in any upcoming movies.

 

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