I am The Real Starky. My frustration with the malarkey in our sport became overwhelming. So many people, so full of it. What could I, a humble Minnesotan do to combat this surplus of BS? Last fall I found the answer. Everyone knows Andrew Starykowicz is the most straight talking man in the sport. He is a guy who says what he means. His clear-cut, gruff style was a breath of fresh, angry air. I wanted to pay tribute to this American Hero while at the same time shouting at some dummies on the internet. That is exactly what I did.
Once my mission was underway I realized some of the dummies online weren’t quite grasping what was going on. I needed a way to explain The Real Starky so even the simplest of online ogres could understand. The Real Starky needed to do an interview. I, Devon Palmer, humble Minnesotan, wrote the questions and the answers to the infamous Slowtwitch interview. Who else but me, the creator of The Real Starky, could ask the right questions? No one. Who but me could delve into the complexities of the character I’d created? I’m not proud to have interviewed myself but I did it for the betterment of the sport.
Have some of my jokes been crude? Sure. Have some feelings been hurt along the way? Probably. Do I feel bad for making fun of some of the biggest names in our sport? Not really. Am I grateful to the bold American Hero Andrew Starykowicz? Absolutely. Do I apologize for offending anyone? No. I leave the apologizing to the Canadians. So that’s it. Mystery over. I’m The Real Starky and I’m proud of it. If and when I make fun of you, possibly in all caps, keep in mind you deserved it before you get all weepy or litigious.